flashes of sudden remembrance / 11:23 pm

I really have no reason to share the covers of my new planner, but since I filled them with a few hours of work and semi-creativity (collage, paint, & two favorite quotes/poems), I thought I'd share... and I'd like to have photos of them in case I lose the planner, which is bound to happen at some point or another. I'm right up there with goldfish when it comes to forgetfulness.

The front cover is composed of puppies and legs (not my own). I chose the puppies because they remind me of playfulness and freedom--something I don't get enough of during my busy school year--and the legs for confidence. They are pale and fairly short like my own and I thought they'd remind me to love my body more, especially since I'm not comfortable with my legs. I painted rays coming from the feet to symbolize roads, going places, the strength of continuing on. The words are a W.S. Merwin poem entitled "Just Now." I posted this poem in one of my earliest blog entries. Here is a link to the poem: http://www.panhala.net/Archive/Just_Now.html. I often read it at school to give me different perspective and to remind myself that it will all be okay.

The back cover includes a bearded man's head to which I added paint and a snail-shaped maze (or maze-filled snail) approaching the word "love." The man appears to be watching the snail... I like to watch bugs so I can relate, I guess. The man also signifies a sort of presence, not a god necessarily, but a spirit of life, energy, thoughtfulness, observance. The snail symbolizes the complexity but also the simplicity of life, being made of an intricate maze, but also including a heart I painted in the middle to show what's at the center. The snail is approaching "love" because that is what I feel life is about when it comes down to it. I wrote out a quote from The Dharma Bums because it is one of my favorite Kerouac books and I relate to the nostalgia and constant juxtaposition of past/present/future I have felt for the last three or four years. The importance of remembering the past, but also the importance of remembering to remember the future. Here it is: "...like an old dream, like a piece of forgotten song drifting across the water, most of all like golden eternities of past childhood or past manhood and all the living and the dying and the heartbreak that went on a million years ago and the clouds as they pass overhead seem to testify (by their own lonesome familiarity) to this feeling. Ecstasy, even, I felt, with flashes of sudden remembrance, and feeling sweaty and drowsy I felt like sleeping and dreaming in the grass."

This would be so much better to talk about in person. It's difficult to write what it all means to me on a blog or anywhere really, but it's also good because I didn't even realize that my planner art was so personal to me until now... it all started because I was bored and wanted a "cool" planner... but it ended up being pretty meaningful.