you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away and the things you can't remember tell the things you can't forget / 11:04 pm

I've been keeping a lot of feelings inside lately because I don't know how to express them or deal with them. The main issue is death. I find myself thinking about losing the people I love and I feel like my heart is breaking every time. It's becoming a problem for me because it takes over my thoughts when I least expect it and I feel like sobbing. It happens mostly when I'm alone, which is good because I'm able to cry... but when it happens in public, I suppress my feelings and I act like I'm fine. I don't even know what triggers it. My mind never turns off these days and I dig deeper and deeper until I end up hurting myself with difficult thoughts. I don't know what to do.